I never considered being Landon's mom-my only identity but after he passed away that is what it felt like.

The monitors shut off, he was gone, he was free. In my heart, I thought that I would be in communication. with his nurses still, I would go to Children's to visit regularly and bring healthy snacks as I had planned and I would start some sort of revolution or something in his memory that my world would consider awesome...

Most of that did not happen.

Yes, I started a project in his memory called The Landon Legacy of Love project where I would bring healthy gluten-free snacks down to the hospital with good magazines like I vowed to do, that lasted for a while but the rest...

I have not spoken to any of his nurses or his agency since his funeral, I went directly into work mode joining every company I could think of, and isolated myself. Missy was no longer the person she once was, she was lost.

I had hoped to work with his nursing agency with strategies. that had worked for us, I had hoped to do a lot of. projects like that, what I did not anticipate was that when I lost. my son-my nurses lost a client, the agency. lost a family member and had to grieve too. Grieving does not always include the people involved. Grief for some people means to close the book to not have it opened again, for this momma that was tough as I wasn't ready to close the book.